The Brexit club

To paraphrase a famous John Hughes film ‘the first rules of Brexit club is you do not talk about Brexit club.’

In all seriousness this might as well be the unofficial motto of May’s government regarding the UK’s discussions in leaving the EU.  Nobody has a clue what is going on only that once it’s all over nobody is going to be happy and it is going to be one huge mess.

After the referendum result it seemed that those calling for a second vote were being unrealistic.  Close as it was it seemed the best thing was to try and get the best deal possible.

Only there was one big flaw with that thought.  Namely that David Cameron was a chancer and like an aristocratic cad gambled the family estate only to lose the lot.  Even worse was that there was no actual plan in case the leave vote won.  It says a lot that the football game Championship manager investigated and replicated the repercussions of a Brexit Britain instead of the Government of the day.

Instead David Cameron stood in front of the camera for the last time before walking off to write his memoirs in a posh hut that cost £25,000.  The job was now given to Theresa May to try and sort this mess out only to be one of the worst Prime Minister’s in history.  In short she has been a complete and utter omnishambles.

‘Brexit means brexit,’ Theresa May cried which  was another slogan that nobody understood what precisely May meant.  Did she for instance mean ‘breakfast is breakfast,’ or ‘Brexit for the everyday Bat people,’ as her alter ego Nicola Murray would say in the thick of it.

The thing about Brexit is that the people involved are incompetent.  We have David Davies who is so dense that to quote the thick of it’s Malcolm Tucker ‘light bends around him.’  Incidentally that isn’t being harsh.  Look at him as he walks in for Brexit talks with the smirk of a football mascot walking onto the pitch.  Furthermore Davis has the same impact as a mascot does during the match itself.

So far even after two years since the result was announced we are no way near to getting something that looks feasible never mind satisfactory.  You would think that at this stage that May’s government would realise that this is going to end in a almighty mess akin to somebody dropping all the eggs being dropped from one basket.

So instead of working out what would be a realistic deal and letting voters decide if they would be happy with the implications of leaving the EU they stagger around like the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz.

Nobody so far seems to have the guts to realise that Brexit is a spiralling mess that has not been thought through at all.  From how it affects the peace process in Northern Ireland regarding the border to the Republic to how it will affect the economy and freedom of movement.

There are a lot of implications for how it will affect EU members currently living in the UK and then there are the British Citizens living abroad.  Even those who regularly travel to Europe for work purposes will be affected.

The economy, grants, legal and workers rights are all under threat that has protected people.  It isn’t a perfect system and after the way Greece was treated by the EU shows that the financial institutions still have too much sway yet it is best to be in it.

However remaining in the EU means there is a better chance of having a say and having some influence as well as having other EU members support.

Like it or not the UK economy relies on Europe for its business and gaining workers in vital services.  There is no paperwork just a case of providing your passport to confirm your country is a part of the EU.

Again there is the argument that the EU takes advantage of using a migrant work force that is cheap from the likes of Eastern Europe.  It is certainly true but something that can be worked on by other EU countries to try and resolve.

Part of the leave vote was not just about the worry of immigration but a protest vote against the perceived establishment.  To those that voted leave, Europe only seemed to benefit the metropolitan elite with some seeing a influx of migrants from EU nations causing a strain on local services and schools.

Leaving the EU though means that these areas won’t receive the benefits that have revitalised parts of the UK.  Brexit also means that if it affects the economy badly it could lead to a rising cost in living standards.  Workers rights will be weaker and there will be a strain on the health service as the NHS rely on migrant work force from the EU.  Whether it’s Doctor’s, nurses, porters, or cleaners they all help in supporting that the hospitals run as smoothly as they can.

Incidentally that is another lie when the Brexit bus stated how much money the UK could save and put that money in the NHS.  At the time of writing @ostendGudgeon has worked out that the NHS is owed £35.65 billion by the Brexiteer’s.  Money that is still not forthcoming and nor will it be.  After all Nigel Farage admitted ‘that it was a mistake.’

Of course there are the Brexiteers who believe that that this is all doom and gloom.  That there won’t be problems for businesses with the possibility of completing various visas to trade.  That there won’t be problems for British Citizens working and living in the EU, and that even visiting other European countries won’t mean being in a long queue.

The likes of the plastic toff Jacob Rees Mogg (he might dress like little Lord Fauntleroy and gone to Eton but he’s not the real aristocrat that Moggster would love to be)  might think you can just walk into a room tell Europe how it is and take what you want but it isn’t going to happen.

For starters the EU are in a stronger position due to the large number of countries in the Union.  Secondly they will ensure their members get the best deal as much as the Brexiteer’s like to think the UK does not have the same influence as it did in 1900.

Nostalgia for a Britain (that incidentally never was) of village greens, cricket, warm beer, and maidens on bicycles is what some Brexiteer’s want the UK to be.  That’s why there is the bizarre celebration of the return of the old blue passports as though that represents Britain.  However the inconvenient truth that the EU wasn’t particularly bother what colour the UK passport was is forgotten.  As is the fact that nobody really cares as long as you can travel on it.

It could be said that Michael Gove and Boris Johnson or to give him his full name Alexander Boris De Pfeffel Johnson are not really Brexiteer’s but chancers who used the referendum to put pressure on David Cameron.  The theory goes that the pair expected it to be a close remain vote and hoped that it would be enough for Cameron to step down and stand for the leadership.  As it was the vote went leave and Theresa May won the race to be Prime Minister.

So far it seems that the UK is far from getting close to a satisfactory deal as the clock ticks towards the full exit date of the 29th March 2019.  The bravado of no deal is better than a bad Brexit is just that.  There has to be at least some kind of idea what Brexit will look like and a realistic one rather than the wet dream of Jacob Rees Mogg.  To him the lands of Persia, Constantinople, and Narnia are just gagging to trade with the UK.

The reality of it is both side of leave and remain will be bitterly disappointed once the final whistle is blown on this mess.

It’s why if Theresa May had Britain’s interest at heart she would put it to the public to decide whether they are happy to leave with the deal negotiated or decide that being in the EU is not that bad after all.

May though is too weak with too much self interest for herself and the Conservative party.  That’s despite being consistently being undermined by the likes of Boris Johnson who has been sniping at how poorly she is handling Brexit.  When even the likes of David Davies undermine you and you can’t sack him then you really are a lame duck Prime Minister.

A large proportion of the blame has to lay with Cameron for not ensuring that some type of plan would be put in place if it was a leave vote.  Instead it’s the bland leading the bland who have been promoted way above their abilities who are responsible for our future.  That is the scary part that nobody in power is trying to stop this madness and put forward a second vote regarding a final deal.


Is this the most incompetent Government ever?

This Government appears to be a spin-off from the thick of it. Theresa May is a hapless Nicola Murray as Prime Minister, Hugh Abbot is the Chancellor Phillip Hammond, whilst a PG Wodehouse character plays Boris Johnson.

All of them have ambitions way above their actual talent and competency. Somehow they have found themselves in the big jobs but are so out of their depth that the shark Jaws is already circling them.

What is frightening is that May’s Government are tasked with attempting to sort out the mess that is Brexit. Despite the stern talk of no deal is a bad deal they have so far capitulated easily. Then of course there is the issue of the border between Northern Ireland and Southern Ireland. A matter still yet to be resolved.

There is an abundance of incompetent cabinet ministers that in more ordinary times would never be allowed near the front bench. David Davis for example is somehow responsible for leading the talks on Brexit. It would help if he at least looked the part but instead has the look of a football match day mascot being allowed onto the pitch with his footballing heroes.

Davis has shown more skill for being lazy and inept when he was dragged before the select committee. Despite talks of a impact assessment on Brexit, Davis admitted in the tone of a school kid being caught out that he had not done so. What was more infuriating was the titters of laughter rather than finding him guilty of contempt.

Another shallow and idle big mouth is Boris Johnson, who has not only shown incompetency of huge proportions but has acted in a manner not befitting the Foreign Secretary. There was the time he made the disgusting remark about Libya becoming another Dubai when they ‘cleared away the dead bodies.’ Then there was the case of the British Citizen Nazanin Zagarhi-Ratcliffe languishing in an Iranian jail where he made it ten times worse by indicating that Nazanin was a spy when she wasn’t. Neither of these incidents was Johnson not forced to step down.

U-turns have been numerous from May’s first budget when Hammond backed down after he stated he would not hike up national insurance for the self-employed from 9% to 11%. Then during the election campaign there was u-turn on the dementia tax which would have meant relatives having to spend their inheritance on ensuring medical care for loved ones.

Everything about May screams of someone so uncomfortable and unsure that at times she resembles a frustrated Roy Hodgson unsure of how to stop his team being outplayed.

Consequently we come to the Windrush scandal and the hostile immigration policy of the Government. Amber Rudd was caught out lying but after the likes of Johnson and Davis then Amber Rudd probably thinks that there is no reason to do so.

Incidentally May is so weak that when trying to move Jeremy Hunt from Health Secretary found herself not only keeping him in post but giving him more responsibilities.

At present nobody has any idea of what exactly May’s Government stands for or what policies they wish to implement. Brexit is being made a mess of whilst they flounder from one crisis looking far from ‘strong and stable.’

This is a Government that is drowning in a Olympic size swimming pool of incompetency. From Theresa May, David Davis, Philip Hammond to Amber Rudd each and everyone of them has looked more like a ill-prepared student who has forgot to revise, flailing like a drunk in a storm when trying to give a presentation.

Maybe this is the era of ineptitude but with a Roald Dahl’s James and the giant peach sized ego. There is no shame amongst the lot of them with no lack of any direction as they flounder around in heavy waters. All they seem to be skilled in is surviving like Chucky the evil doll. Nobody should be surprised that Amber Rudd will not be forced out as Home Secretary.

Theresa May – Another omnishambles

Sometimes art really does imitate life.  Watching Theresa May literally choke on stage as the words of ‘building a country that works for everyone,’ fall apart you did at one point wonder if this was an episode of ‘the thick of it,’ starring Theresa May as Nicola Murray.

Everything about Theresa May since the ill-fated general election has been a omnishambles.  From her poor interviews and interactions with the public that had to be stage-managed purely for damage limitation.  It didn’t help that May kept parroting slogans in the hope of hypnotizing the public but just led to her being mocked when she was far from ‘strong and stable.’

Yesterday in Manchester was meant to be a ‘re-branding.’  of Theresa May taking responsibility for the mess of an election but being more stronger and listening to the electorate’s needs.  Indeed policies such as the energy price cap look putting politely very similar to Ed Miliband’s  2015 Labour manifesto.

Instead it literally fell apart metaphorically and physically.  Right at the start it didn’t bode well when a comedian broke forward to hand Theresa May a P45 before being bundled out.  There was brief bit of composure as she cracked a joke about it being Corbyn who ought to be given his P45 before her voice decided to give up on her.

A small cough quickly made Theresa May sound like the Fast show’s Bob Fleming as she resorted to making another lame joke at the Chancellor Phillip Hammond’s expense.  Even the sip of water in an attempt to kill the cough didn’t work as Theresa May started to choke.

It didn’t get any better as Theresa May seemed to be openly drowning on stage.  At one point Amber Rudd led the cabinet to applaud their leader to give her time not just to recover but to reassure May.  However Boris Johnson looked like a bemused relative who doesn’t know when to stand up in Church as Amber Rudd motioned him to follow her lead.

Not that it really helped as Theresa May started to look like Roy Hodgson watching his team being completely outplayed and not knowing what to do.  She really was one step away from rubbing her face in frustration hoping that it was all a nightmare.

At one point you did wonder if someone from the Tory faithful was going to throw the towel in.  To stop what was now painful but absorbing viewing for all the wrong reasons.  Then the words started to fall and it seemed to sum May’s shambolic career as Prime Minister.  Indeed the jokes flew that if the Tories could hardly build a decent prop then how could they build a country that works for everyone?

Eventually May somehow staggered towards the finishing line like an amateur injured marathon runner who finishes hours after everyone else.  The traumatic smile and pointing to her throat were all mannerisms associated with the hapless ‘thick of it,’ Nicola Murray.   Malcolm Tucker declared ‘her a omnishambles,’ and it would be fair to say so was Theresa May.

This speech was meant to be a new start.  A more personal Theresa May far removed from the aloof portrayal that she gave during the election.  It was meant to focus on her own thanks for the NHS who have helped with her diabetes, her humble family origins from her Grandmother being a domestic servant to May being Prime Minister.

That new start lay in pieces pretty much like the words that had fallen off the Conservative slogan behind her.  Rather than talking about a new start and May reasserting herself as a leader the talk was of how shambolic the speech had been.  That’s also not mentioning the reason why Theresa May decided to wear a bracelet with the image of Frida Kahlo whose views in sharp contrast to May’s

It has to be said Theresa May looks like a middle manager way out of her depth who finds herself as Chief Executive of a leading firm.  She also looks like a troubled football manager who has run out of ideas and is just counting down to the inevitable of being shown the door.

That’s not to say that will happen just yet.  Catastrophic as yesterday’s performance was it makes no sense for the Conservatives to ditch their leader whilst in the throes of Brexit.  Theresa May is pretty much toxic so might as well take the fall for Brexit when it no doubt doesn’t go as planned.


Boris Johnson a complete disgrace

The disgusting comments from the Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson about the possibility of the Libyan city Sirte being the new Dubai ‘after they have cleared away the dead bodies,’ should have led to him being sacked.

It was a crude, disgraceful comment that showed a lack of regard for ordinary people killed in Libyan civil war.  A lack of respect and insensitivity that these dead bodies are just an inconvenience so that rich businessmen can build a rich beach resort.

More class and dignity should be expected of a foreign secretary which Boris Johnson clearly hasn’t got.  The remarks at the very least should have been under more media scrutiny because that statement is clearly unacceptable and in any other walk of life would lead to dismissal.

Theresa May the real life ‘Nicola Murray’

After having to deal with another calamitous mistake by Nicola Murray ‘the thick of it,’  Malcolm Tucker tells her ‘You’re a fucking omnishambles, that’s what you are. You’re like that coffee machine, you know: from bean to cup, you fuck up.’ After the complete mess that Theresa May has made of the 2017 election there are probably many Tories who share the same view of their hapless Prime Minister.

When Theresa May declared an election it was according to her to strengthen her hand in Brexit negotiations and to give her the mandate to ensure it was carried through.  It was also a chance to increase the Conservative majority and to take advantage of what they perceived was a Labour party in turmoil.

However rather than leading to a landslide it was to be a disastrous campaign that far from being a ‘strong and stable government,’ led to a hung parliament and to a weak and unstable minority government. Rather than Jeremy Corbyn looking out of his depth it is Theresa May drowning in a pool of her own incompetence.

The Labour party ran a first class campaign and although they didn’t win enough seats to form a government they did enough to make a lot of ground from the last election.  It would have been one almighty swing to Labour if they had romped home but it is progress especially as the Conservatives now rely on the DUP to form a government.

Although there was still a lot of media bias against Corbyn he was still shown to be able to connect with the public.  To paraphrase the West wing it was best to let ‘Jeremy to be Jeremy.’  He connected with the electorate, was pleasant, personable, and was seen to be comfortable answering questions from the media and the public.

This was in complete contrast Theresa May who looked shifty, uncomfortable, and only seemed to speak in soundbites.  Everything was stage-managed from the public events that she attended to the questions being vetted.  At one news conference a journalist in Cornwall was shown the door for daring to ask a third question.

Theresa May has consistently performed poorly at PMQ’s but she was to take this to a new level.  Meeting the electorate seemed to be an inconvenience and there seemed to be an arrogance that the public would accept anything.  The so-called ‘dementia tax,’ policy backfired spectacularly when the Conservative manifesto made plans to make people pay more of their own social care.  The policy caused anger because payments after death could eat into the inheritance of offspring whose parents were unlucky enough to suffer from a condition – like dementia – in which reliance on social care is inevitable.

It lead to a u-turn by Theresa May who scaled back proposals but considering that she was meant to be a decisive leader who wouldn’t stand any nonsense in brexit talks, made May look as though she would buckle under the slightest pressure.

The campaign by May led to personal insults against Corbyn and negativity throughout.  It seemed that so long as May got in her buzz words of ‘strong and stable government,’ that people would believe that she was the only one that could deliver this. However it just seemed stale and clichéd as Theresa May stood there nervously.  When forced to take questions May would take a sip of water to quench the nerves of being out of her comfort zone.  Again a trait that hardly inspires confidence.

In many respects Theresa May is one of those company middle-managers who are promoted way above their ability.  As a result they cause mayhem and damage before being quietly moved on.

By now it seemed to be as though the Conservatives were seeing Theresa May as a liability due to her consistent poor performances in public.  The decision to duck the leadership debate was poor judgement.  After all if you couldn’t comfortably argue your case and take questions how could you be deemed fit to negotiate in Brexit talks?  Inadvertently May raised Amber Rudd’s chances of taking her job by allowing her to take her place and performing well.

Of course the election was more than Brexit it was about the cuts in social service, education, the NHS and how austerity is affecting the ordinary person.   Labour’s manifesto seemed to an attractive and fair solution to bring about a fairer society.

As election day drew near it was the hope that people would allow the sound bites and uncertainty thrown about Corbyn to stick with May.  Indeed many thought the Conservatives would still win comfortably despite the poor performances of May.  They were to be shocked when the final poll at 10pm on the 8th June 2017 rightly declared it be a hung parliament.

Labour may not have won enough to govern but they had made progress whereas Theresa May had spectacularly shot herself in the foot.  She had called an election believing it to be a formality and a chance to increase the Conservative majority in parliament.  Instead they lost seats and rather than bringing ‘strong and stable,’ May now presides over a minority government with less MPs.  Now they have to rely on the DUP which will bring about other issues.  Furthermore due to the lack of a majority May will have to deal with factions within her own party.  Rather than talking about moving forward it is now about uncertainty and when another election will be called.

Even as the ceiling has come crashing down and with bits of plaster in her hair, May still acted as though she had won a massive majority.  Despite the clichéd key words that had fallen as flat as a fart at a funeral, May still couldn’t help herself declaring the coalition with the DUP as bringing a ‘government of certainty.’  It was as though May was hoping to hoodwink the public that everything was fine rather than being an almighty mess through her own making.

This didn’t go down with the party faithful especially the candidates who had lost seats.  To not even acknowledge that this was a massive set back was another poor error of judgement.  However Theresa May calamitous flounders around like Nicola Murray that it can’t be long before she declares a policy for ‘every day bat people.’

Prior to this election many felt that it would be the end of Jeremy Corbyn as leader of the Labour party.  Many were probably already writing his obituary.  Instead it is a dazed, incompetent, and weak Theresa May who staggers on after losing all credibility.

After this poor performance and weak leadership it surely can’t be long before Theresa May steps aside.  Whether she makes that decision or is forced out will be played out in the coming months. There really is no way that May can continue as Prime Minister.  She looks weak and above all has been shown to be incompetent that another election probably seems certain by the end of the year.